For those who do not know or don’t wish to Google, Morocco runs down the western coast of NW Africa, the Sahara Desert lying just south of its Atlas Mountains. No typical Arabic dress here; not the dishdasha or guthra (tunic/headdress) for men nor the abaya or burkha for women. Instead it is the Berber uniform of drab tunic for men with a loose 
hood to be worn when cold & only the older women wear headscarves (no veils). I can only speak for the city of Marrakech – more modest attire I guess in the countryside/mountains. To a man (didn’t meet any women) they were friendly, hospitable and with a great sense of humour.
DAY 1. Outgoing trip delayed as a crew member fainted whilst passengers were boarding. You can make up your own rumours/conspiracy theories.  Smooth pick-up from airport to hotel where we were immediately shown in to a late dinner, followed by a long walk in the dark through gardens to our rooms in  low blocks. Sue & I sharing a room. A quick unpack & off to bed. Good thing Sue has a sense of direction to get us back to the main building in the morning.
DAY 2. Gloriously sunny morning (around 73F) with a lazy 11 am departure for Palmeraie Golf Course, a Robert Trent Jones Snr designed course with undulating greens and strategically placed bunkers. We had been told we could walk this course but it  turned out that carts or caddies were compulsory. Carts pls for the 1st day. Plenty of water but mainly running alongside the fairways rather than hitting over. Individual Stableford format. Played with 3 others with similar h/cs. Pat, a newbie on the hols, but a Wickham Park stalwart, said she would treat me to a glass of red, nay a whole bottle if I made my birdie attempt at the par 3 11th, which I duly did. Only later did it click that the drinks were all inclusive anyway. Meeting in the bar at 7pm was surprised and delighted to be awarded first prize for 35 pts. (£10). Great dinner. Waiter put “Winner flowers†in my hair. Back to bar.
DAY3. It’s practically freezing! Heavy mist and enormous drop in temperature. Today is Al Maaden. Carts obligatory. Don’t  like this course. Too manufactured. Too gimmicky. Cavernous bunkers & vast tracts of waste ground with palm trees & cacti abounding. No water though*. Amazing views of snow-capped Atlas Mountains. Format is individual Stableford with yellow ball scoring double points. It felt like Matchplay as Sheila (event organiser) & I have similar h/cs whereas the other two have iffy 36. Real ding-dong battle between the two of us coming to the last hole. All 4 of us still had our yellow ball. Good 
drives  each but my 2nd shot ended up on a miniscule grassy knoll in the middle of a vast bunker. Good strike but I couldn’t tell where it ended up. Sheila hit into the fairway & then announced “Oh look, there’s water*â€. Who the hell put that bloody canal right across the fairway not far from the front of the green and failed to show it on the f…… card?â€Â Gwen & Jean promptly found the water; I can only assume mine had already found that watery grave. Sheila had a wedge shot over the canal to the green. “Beeeeeeeeeetchesâ€, she yelled, as her yellow ball followed the other 3. We tried & failed not to laugh. She made her putt on the 18th though and I did not. She won the day and I was runner up (£5). A few people muttered darkly that I now had the same results as last year & “accidents†could be arranged.
DAY 4. Sheila had delegated the organisation of the free day to me. I skipped the Quad Biking, Camel Rides, Traditional Berber Massage, Sahara Adventure, 4×4 in the High Atlas Mountains& suggested  the sedate guided tour of Historical Sites & souks of Marrakech in the morning (great tour guide – v. informative on history, culture, etc) followed by guided tour of the foothills of the Atlas Mountains with lunch & opportunities to take photos. The sides of the Ourika Valley are lined with seating but when the snow on the Atlas Mountains melts the river becomes a torrent & water gushes from nowhere. Anyone who can escapes to these foothills in the summer to escape the killer heat. Wonderful traditional chicken tagine lunch – best meal of the hol.
DAY 5. If I didn’t like Al Maaden, I positively hated Samanah. It was cold and drizzly. Course is far too challenging for a hacker group like us. Nicklaus style. Bunker after  bunker after bunker. Every green surrounded by bunkers. Pitch your ball onto the crazy rock-hard undulating greens & you were off again. Played with Kate, with the lowest club h/c, newbie Heather & Chrissie. The course made Kate’s golf game look pedestrian &
Heather insisted on playing out every hole despite being out of shots. Must have a word with her as she can’t do that at home. This was Hidden 6s where 6 pre-selected holes were wiped off our score (we know who selected those holes back at Wickham & he’ll get what’s coming to him). Chrissie had found every bunker on the course no matter how well she struck the ball; the Hidden 6s then reduced her total score to a single figure. Kate & Pat were equal, but the Hidden 6’s favoured Kate so she took winning £10.  Pat was glum.
DAY 6. Most took the hotel bus into Marrakech to visit the souks and do some shopping. We went around the souks in groups of 4 so no one got abducted or sold off for a (stuffed) camel. Scary for foreigners with stallholders/shopkeepers, shaking their wares (I said 
“waresâ€!) in one’s face & trying to drag you into shops. I do wish Sue hadn’t said my name as I was pursued down two narrow lanes by a shopkeeper screaming “550 dirham Wendy, 500 to you Wendy, Wendy 400 dirham!†Might be related to Wam with the noise he made. Avoided the real snake charmers but was frightened to death by those articulated wooden snakes thrust in one’s face. Resolved to buy NOTHING. It’s all tat/fake anyway. Ended up with fake designer handbag (paid the Wendy screamer 300 dirham), a pashmina, & cotton shirt. My fellow shoppers of Sue, Di & Janet succumbed likewise. Afternoon spent lolling around the unheated outdoor pool in the sunshine.
DAY 7. My favourite course – NORIA. Bad reports that the clubhouse was half-built; there were no loos, pull trolleys or carts, etc. Too late to find somewhere else though.   Clubhouse facilities not entirely finished but pro shop, loos, bar etc all fine. The course is brand new but will be fantastic when it has matured. Beautiful garden/planting throughout the course which obviously appealed to  a garden nut like me. I was very impressed with the Moorish angular water features, whilst some would have preferred European style lakes/ponds. We all decided to walk this course (first opportunity to do so) and bitterly  regretted it on this lovely sunny day. The course in itself is not long but oh the interminable walks between the green & next tee!! Match play between Teams A & B. Di & Sue H against me & Val. Sue H putted magnificently; Di was Steady Eddie, I didn’t do justice to my playing partner & she had a bad day too. Beaten 3 & 2 & on the losing team when all the overall scores were added up.
General Notes:
Injuries: Wendy None
Sue – tripped over raised pavement with golf bag – bruising
Gwen – tripped over step on dance floor when forced to dance the conga. Won’t show thigh bruise on camera
Kate – slipped on dining room floor carrying two coffees, played on in Marrakech (trouper) but has been ruled out of play for several weeks with ligament damage
Di – insect bite inside ear, plus earache from sharing room with Janet.
Janet – food poisoning . Lousy team player anyway. Didn’t get money’s worth from hol.
Entertainment: Variable: No fun bloke golf teams to flirt with. Hotel entertainment a bit Club Med (music too modern, stage stuff too slapstick).
Food: Typical 4 star international buffet at every meal. Can’t understand how anyone (Janet) can’t find anything exquisite to eat. Appalled at gluttons in group who piled their plates up at every meal. Not naming names.
CONS: Would go down fine with our American cousins, but I HATED the tipping culture. Because everything had a zero on it one felt one was leaking money. In fact most of the tips equated to one or two $s but it was never-ending.
PROS: Are you joking?   Roll on next year.
